Epic Long River Walk

Teaching in China, 2016. Day One - My Arrival.

I landed, waited for my luggage, - although because of what happened last time, I waited somewhat apprehensively - and went on my way, hoping to see someone by the name of Yolanda waiting for me with a sign.

I walked out, and I see two Chinese ladies and they ask me "Lan Hollis?", and I'm like "Huh?"
"Lan!" and I'm like "You're Yolanda?" and she showed me the sign she'd written "Lan Hollis", and I'm like, uh no, "Ian Hollis" (The error here comes from the font used in the Chinese messaging service WeChat being sans-serif, which makes the upper case 'I' and the lower case 'l' look identical.  But why they think I'd write my first name entirely in lowercase, and only my second name beginning with a capital is entirely beyond me.

She was there with her friend Tina, another staff member from the school where I'd be working, because Tina can drive and Yolanda can't.

We drove from Ningbo airport to Fenghua - about an hour, maybe 90 minute drive - and I was hoping to be able to go straight to my apartment, unload my stuff, (like, just put my bag in the room), and then get on with things; However, this was not to be the case.  Yolanda and Tina were rather insistent that I set up a bank account, even though I already had one.  Anyway, it turns out I needed to set up a new one, anyway, because my old one was from Hunan, and I am currently in Zhejiang, and if I'd continued with the one from Hunan, it would have cost me a small fee any time I wanted to anything, so I began setting up a new bank account, only to be told that I couldn't without a telephone number, so off to China Mobile me went and got me a sim-card with a local Chinese phone number.  I chose a number from the list, which was apparently taken, then chose another which is now mine.  We went back to the bank - a slightly different, closer to the school where I work, bank - and continued setting up my bank account, where I deposited a small amount of money I'd had with me since my time in Australia where I exchanged some Australian money for some Chinese in the Sydney International (Charles Kingsford Smith) Airport.

After it had all been said and done, we went to lunch on the fourth floor - the 'theme restaurants' level - of the shopping centre which is part of the same building complex as my apartment.  Tina had ordered me a peppered beef steak - I think that's what it was, anyway.  Anyway, we ate our meals, talked with each other about ordinary things - what it was like for me before, what was going to happen this time around, and so on ... after which I was taken back to my apartment on the eighth floor, where I could, after having been awake for more than twelve hours straight, finally catch some rest.

Teaching in China 2016 - Monkey on a Plane.

The person whom I sat next to on the flight from Sydney to Guangzhou was clearly not an experienced flier - constantly fidgeting, sometimes complaining to the crew and, well, given her age, it can be forgiven that she didn't seem to know how to use the touch screen panel in front of her; However, that fact that she didn't know how to use it amplified how fidgety she was.  This is all in economy class, by the way, so her her constant fidgeting meant me constantly being elbowed in my right hand side.  When the time came that she wanted to recline, she tried to lift the arm rest between the two chairs, and slamming her back into the chair.  It was at the point my image of her was of a "Monkey on a Plane" (even though it's not a particularly nice thing to say about someone).  This all went on for NINE HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES!!!  Do you know how long that is!?  It's just over seventy-five percent (75%) of HALF A DAY!!!  When the plane eventually landed, the nightmare was finally over just got worse, as just after the plane had landed - and I mean literally just after the plane had landed ... the very second after the plane was 100% on the ground - she started gesturing up towards the luggage compartment, obviously asking me to get her baggage down.  There were announcements in both Chinese and English requesting passengers stay in their seats until the plane had come to a complete stop, and the seat-belt light had gone off.  Yet, she constantly kept pointing to the overhead baggage hold and asking me to get her luggage.  For fuck sake, woman, learn to have some fucking patience and stop acting like you think getting your luggage down first is somehow more important than that of every other passenger on the plane. !@#$%^&*()!!!!!

In case you're wondering, after the plane eventually did come to a complete stop, and the seat-belt light did go out, yes, I did actually get her luggage down for her ... she was only a little monkey, after all.  ;-p

Teaching in China - How I Met My Roommate (in Feb 2015).

I walked into my assigned hotel room, and noticed I was the first there.  Was it that I was lucky to get a room to myself?  Probably not.  We'd been told there were still a few on their way.

Two beds to choose from, so I take the one near the window, taking note of what my sister often says about people being less likely to take your seat if you leave your personal belongs there.  So I put my hat down, put some loose change and my sunglasses in it, and my bag on a chair by the table ... or on the bedside table ... I forget exactly which it was.  Anyway.  I made sure that I 'claimed' that bed as I my own, and whomever my room mate turned out to be knew it as soon as they walked it. (turns out when he first walked in (I was out with some other interns at the time) he wasn't sure if it was mine, or the cleaners just neglected to pick up the previous person's things (something like that, anyway).

Anyway, I've come back from a small night out, getting to know some of the other inters (most of them British, one South-African) and I see some luggage parked in the bedroom (keep in mind, my luggage is still in transit at this point - please read my previous entry for more information about that) and I wonder if the luggage is mine (the lights are off and I was gonna go straight to bed, anyway). The large luggage looks like mine, but seems to be the wrong colour.  I see the other bed is occupied and figure he probably just wants to sleep.  I go to bed and figure I'll worry about my luggage in the morning.

The next morning I get up and my roommate's alarm goes off, so I get up as well and we get talking and get along well.  We get ready and go to have breakfast with the other interns.

Turns out he's a legit teacher from the U.S. and even has some well-respected Japanese citizens as his students and even tells me the story of how he ended up being their teacher.

What can I say but to quote the immortal words of Darth Vader? "Impressive ... Most impressive." ... and plus I just wanted to shoehorn in a Star Wars reference.

Anyway ~

Teaching in China - Relinquishing My Luggage (temporarily)

NOTE: The level of English at Beijing International Airport is embarrassingly sub-par for an international airport.

The plane had landed and I wandered off the plane in a daze along with all the other passengers.  The Beijing international airport is less than ordinary. It's boring and dull and not a clock in sight.

I finally reach the part of the airport where the customs officers stamp you in, and I add myself to the end of one of the queues (that all ultimately lead to the same place).

I see to main officers, a cranky man, and a pleasant looking young girl.  I pray to God I get the girl, and thankfully she calls me over while Mr. Cranky Pants is still having some trouble with some other folk.

She looks at my passport, seems pleased, stamps it and I move on.

I wait for my luggage ... and wait ... and wait ... and wait ... I go to another belt and wait.  I'm harassed by some young luggage worker asking for money to help me find my bags.  I just tell him I don't have any money and show him my empty wallet and he leaves.

I ask someone about my luggage, and eventually get pointed to lost and found, where they track the number on my luggage, and tells me while it's on the right flight (Hong Kong to Beijing) with the right airline, it's on the wrong plane - the one after the one I was one.

I leave my details and the address of the hotel I'd be staying at for the next week with them, and they say my luggage should be here in around three hours, and I could wait if I wished.  I decide not to, and go and meet the people from ImmerQi that are waiting for me at the airport StarBucks (along with a few other interns).

I explain my situation, and again am asked if I'd like to wait, or move on to the hotel when the time arrives, so I decide to move on to the hotel.  When there, I inform the ImmerQi staff of my situation and given them the details the airport's lost and found gave me and they say they'll take it over from there and inform me when my luggage arrives.

Around twenty-four hours later, I'm notified of my luggage's arrival, and am called to the hotel lobby to come and collect it.  You can't believe that amount of relief I felt at that time!

Teaching in China - Learn Before You Land.

Part of what I was looking forward to when I went to China was weekly two hour lessons, provided by the school - lessons which the school was contractually obligated to provided, might I ad.

How awesome would it have been to order your favourite meal from KFC, or have a chat with a street vendor, or asking something of a store clerk in conversational Chinese?  Or be able to ask directions if you got lost.  You get the idea.

Anyway, I'm sad to say those lessons almost never came, and when they were offered it was nothing more than the school offering us students to teach us.  The few lessons that did come were from students whose English wasn't good enough to understand what we were asking.

So my suggestion to you, if you're ever either foolish enough or brave enough to take on such a venture as teaching English in China with few qualifications, and literally no practical teaching experience, I highly, highly recommend you learn as much of the language as you can before you leave.

I knew I was heading to China with more than enough to time to learn some of the language, but I was so stressed by the whole situation (and what other things were going on in my life at the time) that I wasn't thinking clearly enough to just learn something.  Anything.

Anyway, below are three titles you can check out for learning Chinese, if it's something you're interested in.

I'm personally a big fan of the Pimsleur method of language learning myself.

Enjoy.

- Ian.

              

Teaching in China - Don't Drink the Tap Water.

Excuse the inappropriateness of the following comment, but ...
Do you know what it's like to have diarrhoea almost every day of your life for three months, straight?

I do!  And all because of having lived in China.

In China, if you want to drink tap water you MUST boil it in a jug first (even if it's just for brushing your teeth), and I did, but believe me, going to the corner store and buying bottle water was by far the more sensible choice.

The particular area where I was sent in China is famous for its love of spicy foods - something that I personally hate (again, another reason to do your research and not put 'no preference' on your application form).

The school was ... school food, if you get my drift, and yes, it was provided for free, but ... ugh!  Chicken legs?  No thank you.  Spicy tofu and carrot shavings?  Well ... certainly not as bad as chicken legs, but still ~

So Daniel and I often frequented the nearby KFC, having little more than chips and a drink.

We did eventually find a family restaurant "BOB Bar and Restaurant" or something like that, which served small pizzas ... spicy pizzas. -.-;  Can you imagine a spicy Hawaiian Pizza?  Having experienced one first hand myself, I don't have to imagine it.  Although all in all, it was actually quite tasty.

On our last day there, the head English teacher shouted us to a goodbye lunch at the family restaurant, and I ordered a fruit pizza, thankfully not spicy - not that I remember, anyway - and I honestly couldn't believe how delicious it was.

Believe me, there are probably few who can appreciate just what it is to have a normal *ahem* movement ~

There was nothing better than coming home and having a locally made, juicy all-Australian hamburger, beetroot and all!

Whew.

- Ian.

P.S. Again, sorry about the inappropriateness of some of this post.